People often ask me if I loved growing up in northern New Hampshire. Of the many times I've been asked this question, I have to assume my answers have varied at times, especially depending on my age when asked. Most recently, when someone asked me this, I paused for a moment before answering. I gave it some thought, and then, I told them the truth: No, I didn't always love growing up here.

Sometimes I liked it, sometimes I maybe even loved it, but there were certainly times I didn't, too. I think it's safe to assume every young person feels that way from time to time, no matter where they live, which is why I often feel conflicted as to how to answer that question. On one hand, when I was very young, I didn't know anything else, and therefore didn't know what I was or wasn't missing out on. On the other hand, as I grew older, I recall moments of feeling so much envy for my friends who just visited on the weekends, only to return to their lives of civilization during the week. I now often wonder if they felt that way too, but envious of me and my life living here.

At some point, in young adulthood, I leveled with the fact that this place was my home and probably always would be. There were times when that felt like something that was not necessarily a choice, but just a simple fact of my life. I had moments of feeling stuck, and times of feeling afraid I was missing out on opportunities by staying here. But as life went on, and I started to understand more of what I wanted out of it, living here became not just something I wanted, but something I knew I needed to prioritize. I bought a house. I started a business. I rooted myself in as far as I could, to solidify that this was my home and always would be.

Now, when I am asked if I loved growing up here, I usually tell people that I didn't realize how lucky I was as a kid, but I do now. On a drive home from Vermont the other day, the road came around a bend, and Mt. Lafayette and Cannon shifted into view. I felt myself relaxing at the sight of the mountains, the same ones I've looked at practically every day for over thirty years, and I knew I was almost home. I will always much rather have the mountains as the beacon to signal my way back home, opposed to a shopping mall or a concert stadium. It took me some time and growing up to figure that out, but not as long as it takes for some, and for that, I know I am fortunate.

Paige O. Roberts has a degree in Creative Writing from Southern New Hampshire University. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in The Henniker Review, Sidereal Magazine, Rejection Letters, and Cypress. She has been nominated for a Best of the Net and Pushcart Prize. She lives in northern New Hampshire, where she owns and operates a pet boutique called Tailswag.